Abba, Father!

I am up early, anticipating a farewell for now ceremony for my friend and sister, Rhonda Krawczyk, who went home to be with God last week.  Left behind is her husband of 32 years, John, her daughter Courtney, her sister Cynthia, and many many friends.  Last night my husband and I went to her viewing, and really, I think we should call such gatherings, "remembering".  Rhonda wasn't there, at least not in her body.  It never ceases to amaze me how none of who we are is left in the body we leave behind.  Rather, who she was was in that room last night, in the pictures, in the quilts she made, in the faces of all who loved her.  She left behind a lifetime of love, and she beacons all to follow her where she is now!  We're coming, Rhonda!

I am also up early, because that's what I've been doing....getting up with my neck hurting, from a dental procedure induced neck injury, going downstairs, sending up my son and his puppy who usually fall asleep in front of the TV.  Last week, every morning around 3, I would wake up thinking about and praying for my friend Jami, her daughter Jaylyn and her parents, all of whom were trapped in Tokyo since the earthquake/tsunami.
As we all watched the horror unfold on TV news, knowing from Jami's reports that it was much much worse, I would pray for Jami and family.  Now they are home, and the horror of Japan has ceased my heart even more.  I keep seeing the sweet faces of the Japanese people I have known, humble and gracious, smiling people.  I have taught Japanese children in preschool and Japanese adults in ESL.  We humans are all alike.  Seeing the humanity swept away by the tsunami, while running to get away, being urged to run by the people filming from the relative safety of a tall hill....one man going back to help another.  I think both were swept away.  The film was diverted before we saw that happen.  I don't have words.  Other than, God!  Please help these people!

I'm thinking about Jami, what she must be processing.  I'm waiting, like all of her friends, to hear what she has to say.  Mostly I just know she will need to say it all....at least to God and her husband, she will.  Like my neck, which has been ceased up in agonizing muscle spasms all week just from a little pressure put on my upper mouth during a crown building procedure, we humans are fragile.  We are truly vapors that are blown away after such a short time.  Yet, we are eternal!  We are valued so much that our Creator sacrificed His Son for us.  It is laughable that when we are young, we feel invincible.  We are not.  Not even when we are young!  We are not, even when we are old.  Especially when we are old.  But, with years, at least we learn, sometimes, where to go for Power, security, eternity...and our hearts cry out, "Abba, Father!"  (Daddy!)\

This, too, will pass!

Yesterday it rained in torrents here!  The rain was so heavy at times that many roads had to be shut down, and it was too much to even consider making the walk from the parking lot to the movie theater, so we just camped out at home.  It reminded me of a storm we are currently experiencing in our family.  It is not the hurricanes of the past, or even a quick moving, though devastating, tornado.  This is more of a long, drench-you-to-the-bones, soaking rain, like yesterday.  We know when it began, but we do not know when it will end...or how it will end.

It is beyond my ability to fix this situation, and the hardest thing for me about it is that I have to wait.  While I wait, I have many things that I need and want to do.  But I'm off-kilter, mid-crisis, and depending on someone else to make choices.  Still, I have my supporters and critics.    There are no easy answers, and we just have to wait out the judgements.  Only time will prove them right or wrong.  It doesn't really matter to me who is right and who is wrong.  I just want the best thing to happen for my loved ones.

So what do I do mid-crisis?  I hug my husband, I serve the Lord, I pray for who and what I cannot control.  I read my Bible,  put one foot in front of the other, and hope we are walking the right way.  I guess, right now, this is what it means to live by faith.  Trust in the Lord to guide us along our path.  Make the choices He would have us make...support each other.  Love Him...love others.  What else can we do?  This, too,  will pass.